


cold shoulder

by hollyhock (Hiragi_Houx)



Category: Battle B-Daman
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Depressing, He has too much baggage for this, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, They're both into each other but Enjyu just can't deal w/ it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25725691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiragi_Houx/pseuds/hollyhock
Summary: The many shards of Enjyu have dug their way so deep into Gray's skin that he's not sure he'll ever get them out, and even though Enjyu doesn't want him for anything else than this, he'll take it, because it's better than nothing. Even though it tears him apart, it's better than nothing.
Relationships: Gray Michael Vincent/Enjyu
Kudos: 3





	cold shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> hi im like 1 of 3 ppl that like enjyu/gray pls accept the first foray ever did into them as a pairing  
> its depressing bc i think they're both deeply messed up people and enjyu needs serious therapy

Enjyu is not looking for niceties when he coerces Gray into sleeping with him (coercion in his mind, because no matter the look Gray gives him, no matter the soft warmth in those pale-green eyes, there is no way Enjyu could understand a man like Gray ever actually wanting to fall into bed with him.) He is not looking for love, or affection, or anything but a fight more intimate and somehow even more aggressive than he kinds he finds himself getting into on a day-to-day basis.

He despises the way pale cheeks turn red when they are in his room, the nervous darting of eyes around the empty space (there was never any point to decorating, he figured). He hates the almost-timid way Gray removes his clothing, and it takes every fibre of his being to not just rip the articles off him. First timer or not, Enjyu doesn’t give a shit if Gray is anxious or hesitant.

When Enjyu tells him to take charge, Gray stutters and trips over himself (clearly he had expected this to go differently).

There is a softness to Gray’s touch, when he finally lays hands upon him, and Enjyu despises that too. He did not invite Gray back to his room for gentle touching and cuddles and sappy bullshit like this. He snaps at him, but Gray pretends to have not heard as he continues to explore Enjyu’s body like he is fragile, like if he pressed too hard, Enjyu would shatter.

He snorts to himself at the thought. He has already been shattered so many times that the pieces that remained were too small to break again. 

Gray leans up to kiss him and Enjyu blocks him with his hand. There is what he could consider hurt in Gray’s eyes, but he holds onto the notion that Gray doesn’t even want to be here, and prefers to interpret it as fear.

It is much easier to think of others as being frightened of him than to accept anything else. He will never again let himself make the same mistake and interpret anyone’s feelings towards him as anything but terror or disgust. He will not let the look on Gray’s face be mistaken for disappointment when it is clearly begrudging acceptance of his being here.

Gray resumes his gentle touches, like feathers against his skin, and this time Enjyu grips his wrist so tightly that Gray grits his teeth, and he can tell it’ll leave a mark. He orders Gray to stop treating him like glass, but his only response is a determined glare. He twists Gray’s wrist back slightly, a direction it should not go at all, and yet Gray bites through the pain and refuses to back down.

Enjyu eventually lets go of him, and he tells himself it is because he does not want to deal with the wrath that will befall him for putting Gray out of commission by snapping his arm.

He orders Gray to hurry things up, but again Gray refuses him. Rage seeps through every inch of his being and he curses himself. He should not have pursued Gray for this, a known rebel amongst their ranks if not only for his defiance to those even the most elite quake in fear of. Anyone else would have been good enough, even that fool Wen, who would probably enjoy doing as Enjyu asked, would see it as some way of ‘getting him back’ for all the times Enjyu treated him like dirt. But he didn’t, no, because it was Gray specifically he w--

He cuts his own trail of thought off. He refuses to acknowledge it.

Gray kneels between his parted legs and looks up at him for assurance. He seems unsure, a little frightened, and his cheeks are red, his eyes filled with an emotion that Enjyu assures himself over and over again is negativity. He asks if he’s okay, can he, does he need to do more, will he be okay, and Enjyu tugs his hair harshly, barks at him to just hurry the fuck up.  


Gray finally relents and does at least one thing Enjyu asks of him. His voice is choked and breathless, and Enjyu does his very very best to ignore the constant soft, airy calls of his name. He only acknowledges Gray again when he feels their hips collide and he looks up to see Gray looking down at him, hands beside his head. 

He absolutely fucking resents the look on Gray’s face.

He expects no restraint from Gray, who has expressed he had never truly thought about this kind of thing before, but yet again, Gray is gentle, slow, soft. Still treating Enjyu as if he were precious, delicate, like he was meant to be protected and treated well.

He could almost cry from how fucking dissonant it all feels.

He does not allow Gray to hold him in any capacity, but Enjyu does rest one of his own hands on Gray’s forearm for purchase, squeezes tightly when he angles himself right for once and Enjyu actually feels something. He allows himself to call out, deep and breathy, and convinces himself it is not Gray’s name, but just mere noise.

He demands (demands to his ears, even if to Gray’s they may sound like desperate cries or whimpered pleas) for Gray to be rough with him, to hurt him, to stop treating him like a porcelain doll.

Gray desperately tries to catch his breath between laboured panting and Enjyu can read in his eyes that he won’t, that he doesn’t want to, that he simply can’t.

Enjyu hates it, just like he hates all of Gray. A worthless colleague who can’t even follow the simplest of orders.

He grabs hold of Gray and pulls him close for a hungry kiss, though he intends it more feral than romantic, and bites at him. He just can’t stand looking into those eyes that see him as more than the monster he knows he is, that he knows he always has been and it just took being broken once or twice for it to rear its ugly head.

Gray’s left hand cups his cheek, his other keeping himself steady against the mattress, and his gasps spill into Enjyu’s mouth as he tries to keep himself going. He feels lightheaded, far too much going on, far too much stimulation when he has never experienced any of this before.

Enjyu, of course, hates this too. Gray’s touch is like that of a lover’s, has been this whole time, and it makes him sick. Gray is not his lover, his boyfriend, his whatever. Gray is just a person he picked to waste an evening with, and the closeness Gray treats him with drives him mad in a way he can’t express with words.

He bites down hard and draws blood, and Gray pulls back, wincing at the cut left on his lip. Enjyu makes more demands, urges him to just hurry up and finish, and tries to ignore that his eyes sting and his lashes feel somewhat stuck together.

Even though Gray looks upset, moreso in an angry way than sad, his hand still rests on Enjyu’s cheek, and he pulls himself closer, letting his lips rest against Enjyu’s forehead as he falls over the brink with a choked cry.

Enjyu berates Gray as if his gentle caress had not been enough, but there is plenty evidence otherwise, and he is subconsciously aware that Gray knows it too as his arm gives out and he crashes down onto him, bodies pressed flush together.

There is only silence to accompany heavy breathing (from one voice in Enjyu’s perception, and two in Gray’s).

Gray eventually pulls back from Enjyu and his face flushes vibrantly as he realises he has forgot a certain something and apologises profusely, looking around the bed for some spare piece of cloth. Enjyu smacks him with the side of his leg and tells him it doesn’t matter.

Gray relents and allows himself to fall by Enjyu’s side, even as Enjyu turns over to face his back towards him. He knows it is a fools move to turn their back to anyone that isn’t an ally, but to him, he has none, so it doesn’t matter which way he faces.

He ignores the hushed questions that Gray asks, for they are too intimate, too personal, they ask of things that don’t exist (like the concept of them), and instead tells him to leave. Enjyu offers no space for argument and the room is silent for some moments more before he hears the rustling of sheets beside him and knows it is Gray getting up and dressed.

He hears the door crack open minutes later, but the sound of it closing does not come as readily. Enjyu feels an unease in the pit of his stomach as he waits for it.

“Don’t mistake my feelings with those of others.”

The door closes and the sound is far, far too loud in the wake of Gray’s words.

Enjyu rolls onto his back and looks to his side where the sheets are messed up from where Gray had lain on them just minutes prior. He feels the rapidly-cooling mess on his stomach and between his legs and shuts his eyes as he feels himself break, somehow, into even smaller pieces.


End file.
